Friday 11 September 2009

Sssssh. Silence Around Me. Don't Read This Too Loudly

My dear 16 Year Old Son finally went to London yesterday. He removed himself and more of his stuff and caught a train at 2pm. The relief in the house is like an after shock. I expect he feels it too in London. Today feels like the first day of the rest of my life. I have cleaned out his room, having had to break into it first as he has removed the door handle. Easy though, I know how to do this. I cleaned and hoovered and made it wholesome and fresh, and shut the door behind me. I then went to Tesco and did a teeny shop as now I only have 12 Year Old Son with me, and he and I between us have our limits. It was strange, taking a little trolly and putting just one of this and just one of that in it, and not doing a bulk buy of avocardos, of doughnuts, of fizzy water and Linda McCartney Veg Stuff. Oooh, just the one, I felt myself say when I saw an offer of three for the price of two. Just the one, what would I need three for now?

Today the house is utterly silent. People do have a presence, even if they are locked in their rooms. There is no evidence at all of anyone in my house, except me. I could go back to bed. I could have a long bubble bath. I could dance naked round a fire in each room, I could just sit still in my big five bedroom home and feel the peace and silence.

Five bedrooms. Bit too much for just me and 12 Year Old Son. I will think about that another time.

In the meantime the emptiness and space and silence and freedom is making my head swim. It is what I have longed for for years. Space. Time out. Silence. It is, today, almost too good to cope with.

16 Year Old Son is safe and well in London. He is now living with his Aunt and is happy to be back in London, from where I moved us all five years ago. Trying to get through those five years has been full of fight and fury for him. I hope he finds his way with his wonderful aunt in London.

I am having another artist for tea this morning. That is very exciting. She is a real one, made her living by it and is very clever. I will ask her opinion on Steve's paintings, and take the day from there.

1 comment:

  1. You are a Real Artist. I'm cross with you for suggesting otherwise, even in jest.

    Now I've got that out of my system, I hope you enjoy the peace and space. You deserve it.