www.jesusonthetube.co.uk for my other website
www.agracefuldeath.blogspot.com for the A Graceful Death exhibition, paintings from the end of life
Jobs For The Day. 1. Wash Hair 2. Sit Down.
The jobs list today actually starts with hair washing. Oh I hate washing my hair, I can't bear getting my head wet. But I can't be beautiful without doing it so I just have to get on with it.
Having washed my hair, having sat down, I have to get up again and go to my mother's birthday lunch in Petworth. Mother is 81 today and is cooking lunch for me and my three brothers. Mother's will is of iron, and this is what she wants. Lovely, I say. All I have to do is wash my hair, and turn up for lunch - in the scheme of things, not so very bad.
Having had lunch, my hair shining like an advert for L'Oreal, I am pottering round the corner from Mother's house to visit a friend who I grew up with, also visiting her mother (in Petworth. There should be a collective noun for those who have a Mother who Lives In Petworth). This friend has, in the last few years, married and had three children. What! I think of her as still 14. Today I shall meet her three tiny children for the first time, and I know I will go gaga over them. I am stupidly looking forward to meeting them. I had three children once, I shall say to her over my lorgnette. And it was tough. Well, she will reply, it doesn't seem to have affected your hair. It's so shiny and bright.
These days, I am trying to take life slowly. I have written before about my tiredness and extreme lack of energy. This is still true but I am able to rest more as it is Easter Holidays and there is no need to get 14 Year Old Son up for school. How wonderful are mornings off, when you are not used to them? I wake and when I am ready, go downstairs and make tea. I bring it back up to my bed and get back in under the duvet, plump up my cushions and decide then what to do. My options are
- Drink tea and stare into space
- Wash hair (sometimes)
- Listen to radio 4 and get cross with people
- Check facebook
- Don't drink tea and stare into space
- Plan my breakfast
I am very busy. We all know this. To spend mornings in bed thinking about nothing is pure sense. I have overdone things, my health has suffered, and it is time to take drastic measures. Drastic measures for a very busy person who carries on like a whirlygig gathering more and more momentum, not see the wood for the trees, and going nowhere fast, is to simply Stop. Just like that. Very hard to do. My body can stop much more easily than my mind; my mind goes on flapping about, fussing and galloping on into infinity with no hope of a resolution or common sense, which makes me realise how important it is for me to Get A Grip and sit down. Lie down. Go to bed. Rest.
And so, back to the hair washing. It has come to pass that the main problem with today is washing my hair. A while ago, it was The Work. The Fund Raising. The Portrait. The Film. The Book. There must be progress if it has narrowed down to hair washing.
Time is ticking on. The day needs someone to start it. "Oooh oooh oh pick me! pick me!" I say, back to my old self. "Ok", I say to my eager self, " go and wash your hair."
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