Morning All. A brooding sense of impending doom has lifted from my house. This was the first weekend that everyone in the house got on with their daily business in peace and harmony, smiling beatifically and moving in those graceful slow languid ways that only the enlightened can. Actually we were all suffering post traumatic stress disorder and most of our brains had been put on hold.
Darling 16 Year Old Son has achieved his goal of going back to London. He is living with his Aunt for college, and back here weekends and holidays. Because he was getting into such a pickle about getting to London I sent him up early. And that is when the sense of impending doom lifted from my house. I had a gentle weekend with Alan who got Sky Sports for us, and I watched American Football on and off with him. Eileen, photographer extraordinaire, came down for the weekend and 12 Year Old Son was busy with football and friends and facebook. The sun shone, the birdies sang, and no one had the slightest disagreement with anyone else. Everyone, if it had come to it, which it didn't, would have given the other the Benefit Of The Doubt, shaken hands, smiled a peaceful smile and asked after the health of their mother.
The "Graceful Death" exhibition is coming on at last. Middleton Artist Friend gave me invaluable and insightful advice about the paintings, and gave me confidence. St Barnabas Hospice have agreed that I can use their name and fund raise for them. That is where Steve died. Eileen is helping me with cards and invitations and yesterday, Sunday, she spent the day photographing in her excellent and profound way, all the paintings I have done so far. She also had some more thoughts and ideas on the work, and now I feel very keen to get painting.
I am feeling better about the whole thing. It is not, as Middleton Artist Friend says, a Crowd Pleaser. It is very personal and very difficult to do. I keep living back in those sad lonely terrible days of watching Steve slowly disappear before my eyes to where he didn't know I was there anymore. Eileen says the pictures are hard to look at, which is good because they are so real. But then, Eileen knew him well, and helped nurse him to the end. She saw him like this and was there in the thick of it, helping, till it was all over.
The Angels feel like fun but I can't do fun at the moment. I need to get these haunting sad pictures done and Eileen will come back and photograph the rest of them.
Then, on Wednesday, Alan is taking me to the New Forest. We will spend time together and walk and browse the towns, I may have to lie down for hours and have room service. There may even be a telly in the room with Sky Sports so we can watch American Football. It will be bliss. And finally, I showed Alan the paintings and he liked them. I am fine now, the Man From The Ministry Says Yes. All in all, things are good so far.
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