I Have A Cold. Goddamit.

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I Have A Cold Dammit To Blazes

What I am really saying is Pity Me. I expect I am one of a million billion who have colds at the moment, but that does not interest me. Only my cold interests me. It makes my head hurt and my face hurt and my limbs tired and I cough and sneeze. I have had to go back to bed after seeing 13 Year Old Son off to school and boy, that was good. But, after taking cold remedies that promised to relieve my symptoms and knock them on the head (but not if I have epilepsy or a heart condition or am swigging paracetamol cocktails), I am well enought to sit in front of my computer and Write. You can still pity me, because the medicine packet says that I will take a nose dive again after 4 hours and that is coming up quite soon. It is not often that I get a cold, or any kind of illness, so I am really noticing this one. I am making sure that my three children know so that they can be consumed with a nameless guilt about not being nice to me in the past and so guaruntee that they will be nice to me until at least New Year's Day. "Oh Mum" said the youngest one, "you are getting old". Need to work on him, not much practical sympathy there. "Aaarg" says 19 Year Old Daughter," Don't Die!" and she meant it. Good, that will do nicely. "Mmmm" says 16 Year Old Son, "I don't feel well either." I need to keep the spotlight on me, so I need to ignore all his symptoms and drone on about mine. He'll get the message sooner or later.

Now. Arty Stuff. A Graceful Death is finishing now, and I am back in the market for Jesus on the Tubes, Angels, Portraits, Still Lives and so on. In a day or two, I will send around an email to everyone I know explaining that Now is the time to commission a painting. I am free to concentrate on all their decorative and creative needs. I do have a lovely still life to do, in a kind of 16 century Dutch way. Flowers in an urn, which will be fun. I want to do a very focussed portrait, so go and look at your sitting room and see if there is a space for one, then get back to me. It is time you were immortalised.

The Medicine is wearing off, my days are numbered, the candle is flickering, the sun is setting, I feel flu-ey, so it is time to go and pose dramatically in the house so I can get maximum attention. I will call Alan who is also not well, and start my sentences with Do You Remember When We Were Young and Oh Oh I See A Light At The End Of A Tunnel....

Problem is my appetite hasn't gone, so I am probably around for a good while yet. I won't publicise that though.