Thursday 12 March 2009

Hello Everyone, I Am Absolutely Fine

I have given the impression that I am suffering greatly. I have had some kind friends come and ask me if I am managing as they have read my blog and are worried about me.

This is true, I have bared my soul a bit and written about big things like betrayal and how it makes me shakey and doubt myself. Well, it helps to write it down and then go an make a cup of tea and call Alan for a chat. The impression for the reader of the blog is that I have pressed the publish button, the last action I will ever do, while slowly sliding from my chair onto the floor into a helpless heap of misery. The only clue to my state of mind as I lie under my desk as I fell, shoulders heaving in silent sobs, is up there on the computer, my last post on the blog.

I am delighted to reassure everyone that though some things have been hard to deal with, they are only a small part of my life, and generally things couldn't be better. All the good stuff far outweighs the bad. Like last night, a kind and stylish friend took me to the Royal Opera House in Covent Garden for an evening of culture. Before that I had lunch with the famous Mrs Ross of the Ross Family Portrait and loved it, then went to have tea with the oh so special Lucy Martin before going on to the Opera House.

This morning I spoke to the deeply talented and delightful Olivia and to my eldest brother Ralph, also deeply talented and wonderful. I speak daily - 3 times daily - to the unmatchable Alan, and my children are happy and communicative (only judge this in 12 hour slots. In this 12 hour slot not one of them has told me I have ruined their lives and my God, they are going to move out as soon as possible). Eileen, the highly perceptive and talented photographer and observer of the human condition, is back from her holiday inspired and safe. The paintings are actually going well, the sun is shining and a bumble bee is trying to bumble its way through the glass in one of the studio windows.

On top of this, within an hour or so I will be hungry and that means I can eat and then there is no more to desire. I have it all.

So please be utterly reassured. Life, and I, am good. And thank you for asking.

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