PR, Swine Flu, More PR, Cup of Tea.

Today I am meeting my Avoidance Demon head on. Monday came as it always does, and here I am in the studio, avoiding things. Actually, the Things I Don't Want To Do are not hard, most people could do them. I think they are weighed down with Psychological Baggage. Bear in mind I am doing my own Do Your Own PR course with Paula Gardner (www.doyourownpr.com) and that entails focus and cold calling. I am also starting to prepare the Steve Shaw exhibition in December, on his last few days and his death. That entails sadness. So this is what it boils down to

• Names and addresses of media contacts. Who are these people and how do I find them? And where do I start?
• Press release for womens and lifestyle mags. My mind is a blank. I have no lifestyle I am unable to comment on what I do because I can't remember.
• Send in the press release. To whom? I did get some names and addresses but they have morphed into a big scarey mass of people who hate me
• Twitter. Connect with people in the art world. What art world? There is no art world. There is only a void, and I am in it.
• Blog. Investigate other blogs. I feel I need a couple of paracetamol and a lie down. You mean there are other blogs out there? I have competition?

And then there is the Exhibition. Here is what that boils down to

• Bring back from the cobwebby corners of my studio all the paintings I did while Steve was dying and the week after he died. Look at them.
• Open the file with all the photos and notes I took at that time. Read them.
• Take a deep breath.
• Get the tissues ready and let it all happen.
• Tell the family and Alan that doing this may make me wobbly and sad but to let it happen and not take it personally
• Tell them too that it will be the best exhibition in the world so perhaps I should be excused things like housework, sharing my sweeties, being a taxi, being nice, for a while.

Amongst all this, 19 year old daughter has come home to me with Swine Flu. She is very poorly, and I am keeping an eye on her. 12 year old son has also mild Swine Flu. Tomorrow morning early I collect 16 year old son from the airport where he flies in from Detroit. I will bring him home to get his Swine Flu and then we will all be sorted. I think I had it on Saturday but by Sunday it was gone, so I had Piglet Flu. Mums don't get ill, we are robots and are invincible.

Now that I have made public that I am meeting the Avoidance Demon head on, I had better do it. I have made timetable for this week and have to be very strict with myself. Making a list is only a start. It does not get me Media Names and Addresses, does not get me a Press Release, does not get me into the Studio. (My office is in a room in front of the Studio proper, and I have to walk throught the office to get to the Painting Part). So. Antonia Rolls. Find a nice lifestyle journalist and bowl them over with your day to day existence. After you have had a nice cup of tea.