Exhausted Doing Nothing. How Can I Come Home Tomorrow?

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I Am Utterly Exhausted Doing Nothing I Cannot Possibly Go Home Yet

But I have to. The plane leaves tomorrow and I and my dear 80 Year Old Mother must be on it. At least we will get breakfast and lunch and if they delay the plane a spot of dinner too but no. That is the kind of fantasy I think we must not indulge in. It may lead to a short stay in the Priory.

Last week our very erudite tour guide took us to see Towns and Things and gave us a running commentary. As we passed some men fishing the guide said "Look! Those men are Angry!" and we all strained to see these furious Turks. Nothing but men sitting peacefully with their fishing rods at the edge of the sea contemplating no more than whether to have Aubergine or Cauliflower with the fish for dinner. "But where" I cried, fired with an extraordinary need to see Angry Turks By The Sea, "are the angry men?" Our guide sighed with the patience only a tour guide can muster. "Angling" he said. "Angling like fishing." We all said "Oh" and determined to pay more attention. ( A bit later we passed a large concert hall and he said "Here is Violent Cancer". Turns out it was a Violin Concert.)

So what now. Mother met some lovely ladies in the Steam Rooms who now call her Mummy. She has the status of Queen Bee amongst some here. Quite right too. No one has called me Mummy yet but I did have a particularly lovely Iranian lady tell me she loves me because I dance from the heart. Yes, I said. I love you too. And we are meeting later tonight at the disco to deepen our love with more Disco Dancing.

This stay at a Turkish Hotel has been absolutely wonderful. I have not had to do a thing and have found the less I do the more hungry I become and them more exhausted I feel. I groan with anticipation at the dawn of each new day and become quite flustered at whether to eat now or later, to swim now or later and when when I ask you, should I sunbathe?

Posh dinner tonight as it is our last night. With our new friends Pat and Bert who are simply a great bonus in an already fab holiday. We, Mum and I, have had a lovely time with them and I hope to keep in touch.

OK. This is it. No more blogs from Turkey. It is over and we must get our heads round Bognor Regis again. We must be brave and not cry. We must go on a diet and mend our bike and cycle like a madwoman for a month. We must, above all, get our Duty Free.