Tuesday, 16 June 2009

Happiness Again. Blip In The System Over

Hello Everyone. You will be glad to know that my gloom and weariness has gone, and has been replaced by an Artist who runs every morning and says Bah, Pesky Worries and gets on with things. I think the only way to know you have something good is to experience something bad. That sad patch I just had (on Friday) makes me feel that today, Tuesday, is really a fun place to be.

On Friday, I was hungry. Just as well, I had two breakfasts and took a snack with me on the train to eat before meeting delightful American friends for lunch in Brighton. Because I was also terribly tired, I fell asleep on the train and woke with a start with only 10 minutes to go. I still needed to eat my snack, and oh heavens, did so in a quick and unseemly fashion. Then I met my friends for lunch and was so happy to see them. They are a wonderful couple, deeply intelligent and interested in the world. We went to a Mexican restaurant and they both broke into perfect Spanish. Well, a couple of years ago they were just beginning their Spanish lessons in Arizona. Now they are fluent. They speak German too, and just to give you some idea, both are retired and instead of choosing to sit and nod gently at the Arizona scenery, they travel the world, learn languages, learn to play golf, and James is a professor with three posts. Wow. And they have five of my paintings. We love them.

By Friday evening, when Alan picked me up from Brighton and drove me home, I was babbling. By about 10pm I was in a sort of waking coma and would have agreed to anything at all from anyone, and I don't remember much after that.

The Ball! Let's talk about the ball. My dress, oh it was so lovely. It was taken in so tightly I had to breathe in little sharp bursts and stay ramrod straight. To sit down I had to place myself in a perfect right angle and keep up the little gasps of breath. Of course, the zip couldn't stay up by itself and just before the ball the ever thoughtful Alan safety pinned me into the dress and gave me much more freedom to live. The food was excellent, and since I was still hungry from my miserable Friday I ate it all with no thought at all for the safety pins keeping my body from exploding out of my dress. Our party included Alan's very gifted and creative son and his lovely girlfriend, and we really had a ball at the ball. I love dancing with Alan, he's very good at it and so we danced a lot and Alan had to tell me to stop staring at him. As an artist, I am allowed to fix someone - anyone - with a gimlet stare, but I did stop. He did look good in his DJ though.

Now, I have no commissions. Time is mine to make the future of, so to speak. I can make of it what I will, as there are no plans as yet in it. I have a few ideas, and will get back to you on them. I do have to concentrate on painting Steve's paintings. I think if I rent out at least one of my rooms in the house, that will help as I concentrate on making the exhibition work. And of course I have to find more commissions, to work at alongside the exhibition and the renting out of a room.

Off with 15 year old son to Grandma's now for breakfast. 15 year old son is making a great study of Big Brother and I am required to join him nightly to watch the show. His comments are very insightful and he is young enough not to cringe with embarrassement at the way we are entertained by these youngsters. It made me think of Romans enjoying the spectacle at the Arena of people forced to fight each other to death. Lovely day out dear. Fancy, says one Roman matron to another, anyone not enjoying these Gauls mauling each other for our entertainment. She looks thoughtful for a few minutes and then shivers with distaste. What is it Claudia dear? says her friend. Oh mutters Claudia, I was just thinking, what if we had to watch people trapped in their house for months on end, with no idea of the outside world, just being pitted against each other psychologically and grinding each other down and ending up mad. A silence follows. Both ladies shake themselves and say as one, No, no, that would be too cruel. No one would do that to people. Both pull their shawls round their shoulders and return to watching one Gaul run another through with a spear.

Off to Grandmas and scrambled eggs now.

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