Yes. But not you. You can read about other people and situations that should really take the honourable route and Blog Off. Here we go.
- 15 year old son. Of course. He is ignoring me because he does't approve of my mothering. Even, he says, With all those parenting books, you are still dreadful and can't do it. I think Hmmm. No book could cover you, my sweet little Visigoth.
- 12 year old son's school trip. At about 9.30pm last night, I was told Oh Mum there is school trip tomorrow. I think. Yes, I am certain. Perhaps. So I ask, do you need home clothes? Packed lunch? Where are you going? Shouldn't I have known about this? Don't I have to sign a form? Why Me? And 12 year old son says There's a form in my bag and hands me a piece of paper that lists telephone numbers for various members of staff. As un-school trip a piece of paper as there ever was. Oh it is in my desk then he says, unconcerned.
- So I send him off in home clothes, packed lunch, bit of spending money with a wave of my snowy white hanky at the door. I have just received a text from him saying Trip is Off and I need school clothes. Goddam, I mutter. Why me?
- 15 year old and 12 year old sons have to get train together to stay at 19 year old daughter's tomorrow for the night in Brighton. She lives with utterly wonderful Uncle, my brother, who rented her a room in his swanky Brighton pad. I don't mind them being in the flat, I worry that one or the other will contrive to have one or the other arrested on the train on the way up. I am only secondary on the 15 year old's list of People to Loathe. His 12 year old brother is first. So how will the commuters cope with these two on a Brighton train? Without armed guards?
- And now something else. My hair needs a cut and I resent that so much. Why can't it just look nice every day and leave me out of it?
- Alan, bless him, is swanning around in Greece because he can. But I want to have a temper tantrum and he is the best and by far the most wonderful person to have a temper tantrum with, because he can cope and is so clever.
- And lastly, my painting needs to be done, and I have to take the uniform in, book a hair appointment, try and rationalise the temper tantrum into a grown up Now then Now then, let's not get Out of Control kind of mood.
- One good thing. I hoovered the house top to bottom today, before 7.30 am. That was to prove I am still able to do something right.
Aren't you glad you don't have to Blog Off? I love all my friends and know that there are probably a billion other mothers out there who are longing to list people and things that Blog them Off, so I know I am lucky. Off to take sweet unconcerned chaotic 12 year old his blogging uniform now. Next time I am writing, my hair will look wonderful and my children will be communicative and respectful and my painting will be under my control. Alan will find that swanning around without me is not cutting the mustard and come back and say Please. Honour me with a Temper Tantrum. I have missed you.