www.jesusonthetube.co.uk for my other website
www.agracefuldeath.blogspot.com for the A Graceful Death exhibition, paintings from the end of life
Here. In The Kitchen. Mulling Over Breakfast, Multi Tasking And Life
I find Multi Tasking very difficult indeed and I am in the kitchen writing this, listening to the radio and trying to imagine what to get for breakfast. I feel a Muddle in my brain and know that I must turn off the radio, close the laptop and concentrate on Breakfast. Then I can do this Blog and then, when all that is done, I can listen to the Radio. All at once, and I lose the Edge and get silly. I have just forced 13 Year Old Son to wake up and told him that he has to get up and have breakfast with me and then, a jolly day ahead doing Mummy Things. He is awake all night and asleep all day because he is not able to do anything after his ear surgery and on top of that, his balance is off so he looks drunk. Poor Son. We set up a chair in the garden so he could sit on it and whack his punch bag that is hanging from a beam outside, but he fell off the chair. So it is back to taking dramatic practice swipes at me. He does need his ear surgery to heal, he needs to get out there where there are people who thrive on being ambushed and given the Mock SAS Tai Kwando Routine. A hug from 13 Year Old Son turns into a Firemans's Lift to a different room and a quick bout of Arm Wrestling before I can get back to my cooking, my portraits, my guests and so on.
Talking of Guests, I am expecting my friends from Dublin to arrive tonight, in order to take the whole A Graceful Death exhibition with the accompanying Jesus on the Tube and Every Day Angels exhibition back to Ireland tomorrow, so that it can open on the 21 October. They are real wonders, these two Irish Fellows, to come all this way to help out. They are doing it because they are quite simply Kind and Good. Both are high flying successful business types, and so there will be no nonsense over dinner tonight. No woolley thinking. Very on the ball these two, and very quick witted. And perhaps I should provide them with boxing gloves in case 13 Year Old Son takes a practice shadow pot shot at them while getting over excited. Perhaps I should welcome them in tonight with 13 Year Old Son in an headlock, to set the scene. "Oh he likes it" I should say, as they ask if he can breathe OK. "It's either this or a Sumo Wrestling match in the living room."
The kitchen just arrived, and instead of saying a firm "No" to the delivery men who can only Not Deliver with more than 5 days notice to remove the box from the lorry, I said "Yes" and had them put it in the garage. I had been told by B&Q that if I was unable to stop the delivery, by for example, calling up and saying No with only 4 and a half days before delivery, I could say "Take it away! I cannot Cope! No no no, you cannot make me!" to the men who arrived with it, and they quite happily would take it back to the depot where it would sit for another 5 days. If I still couldn't have it it would go back to The Place From Whence It Came Originally (Middle Earth?) and it would be 8 weeks or so before I could have it back. Well, I do have space in my garage so I asked the Men Who Can Only Hear Yes to put the kitchen in there. The actual Installation happens in mid November. That, when it comes, will be a whole new adventure.
Well, it is now nearly midday. Breakfast is turning into Brunch and soon it will be Lunch. If it gets to Lunch, it will have to be huge because I didn't get Breakfast. Soon I will have to go and make the Son actually get up, instead of pretending he is getting dressed by having his clothes in his arms as he snores away in his bed. I have to get him tired enough so that he can sleep at night. "Go," I may say to him, "and install this kitchen. It is for your own good, and by doing this, you will sleep better at night." Or maybe I will make him walk down a crowded street in Chichester and see how many people he knocks over as he tries to balance properly.
Life is a Mystery. I was up early and I still haven't had breakfast. I have 3 exhibitions packed and ready in my hall way to go to Dublin and I have a Kitchen in my garage. I used to have 3 children living here with me, and now I have 1. The older children are Gone, living their own lives in Brighton and London, and I am left with a the youngest who I think is still only 6. But he is 13, and taller than me, and speaks like Brian Perkins, and so what happened to Time? I feel the same, I am still 25 years old and how did these wonderful creatures manage to grow up so well and so lovely? I don't remember helping them very much, it was all a bit of a blur. It was never easy being pulled 3 ways. I didn't have 3 knees, 3 hands, and someone always had to wait. Gosh. And now I am 50 and officially Old. Saga writes to me Monthly.
Right. Time to make breakfast. Time to be Efficient. Time to drag Son out of bed by his heels and say it is a well known Ambush Technique used by Cage Fighters with One Ear. Yes.
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