Monday 12 April 2010

Gosh. Sunshine, Washing Machines, Bicycles, Gall Bladders and the Dentist. for the latest on the A Graceful Death exhibition for my website to email me

All Of The Above, And More, And Yesterdays Car Boot Sale, And It Is Only 1pm.

The Car Boot Sale is only a memory now. Already, just 24 hours after it finished, it is History and has lost its Golly-Gosh-New-And-Exciting sheen. Other things have taken the foreground. Other things like taking Costya to the dentist for an X Ray (again) at 8.20am. Things like planning Scrambled Eggs for my breakfast - to be polite I asked the Sons if they wanted some and they said Yes. Silly me, of course they would like some. So Scrambled Eggs for Three then. After the scrambled eggs, I announced that I Am Not Cooking Again Till Tonight My Babies So Make Your Own Meals Today. Sons looked pitifully at me , as if I had said that I may have to saw their legs off for fun. I ignored the pleading, starving, and haunted looks they trained on me and became Hard and Indifferent.

So I took 13 Year Old Son on a bike ride. It started as a trip to the Post Office in Bognor, but because someone may see 13 Year Old Son on a bike and in the company of an Old Person Who Is Embarrassing And Mad Yuk, it became a hike along the cycle paths of the A259 instead. I like this ride, we can turn off the A259 to a village called Colworth, which is very country track and a handful of houses, before joining the A259 again and whizzing along the cycle path a hundred times faster than all the cars crawling along in a traffic jam caused by Building Works and Roundabout Re Jigging further along. Oh for the wind in one's hair. Oh for the sun on one's face and the calories burned up by cycling fast up a teeny incline...but 13 Year Old Son had a different take on it. His was -
  • He had a tummy ache
  • His pedals were broken
  • His back hurt
  • He had poo on his shoe/pedals/whatever
  • The bike was too small
  • The saddle was too thin for his Boney Bum
  • His ears were hurting in the wind
  • He was going to be Sick

I left 13 Year Old Son at the end of the ride to go to the Post Office alone, with strict instructions to ride home on the pavement and call an ambulance etc.

When I got home he was, to compound it all, stopped by the police for riding on the pavement and told off. "Did you tell them your Mummy made you do it?" I said with loving concern. "No" he said and the implication was that he Took It Like A Man and if he can't get a job later on in life, it is because his criminal record dates back to a sunny morning in April 2010 when he was 13 Years Old and his Mum put him up to his first offence and then scarpered. (To the Post Office).

My washing machine that Alan bought me has been delivered and fixed up too! Still all before 1pm when I started today's blog. The man who brought it round and fixed it in was called Alan too. Maybe there is a conspiracy of Alans to make sure I am OK. Bet the police man who stopped 13 Year Old Son earlier on wasn't called Alan. My Sons have been stock piling the washing for me so that I can, in their minds, play with my new machine this afternoon. Is that before, I enquire, or after I go with Eileen to Tescoes to buy more Foooooood and cook it all and clear it up and do my Art and clean my house and go mad trying to Do It All?

Eileen has not got a Gall Bladder. She had it removed last week and is here to recover. Tasha said something along the lines that Chinese Medicine links Gall Bladder with Anger. Another book I read recently said the Gall Bladder and Liver are linked to being thwarted in Moving Forward, Plans and Hopes and Strategies and such like. Alan (my one, not the Comet Washing Machine one or any of the Other Alans I know) is also waiting to have his gall bladder removed when a place comes up. So will I be left with a benign, placid and peaceful Eileen and Alan, both of whom steam ahead unopposed in life, smiling all the while, their plans coming to fruition with hardly a twitch, while all of us with Gall Bladders plan in a frenzy of hopeless rage and bad temper? We will see. Eileen wasn't very cross to begin with, so any anger that was taken out with her Gall Bladder must put her on a par with the Dalai Lama. That is of course, if both Tasha and the Chinese Medicine Thing is right.

So. Much to do today. It is now 13.48 and I have still to prepare all my stones and canvases for Angels in Arundel and the two commissions. I may have a third commission, I will have to wait and see for that one. And still more to come today, tons and tons of washing. Tescos and a Big Cooked Dinner for Sons and French Student and Eileen and Me. Right. On with the Angels for Arundel. With or without their Gall Bladders.

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