Wednesday 2 June 2010

I Bought Some Lime Green Sheets. I Made My Bed And I Will Lie In It. for my website. for my other website. for the exhibition A Graceful Death, paintings from the end of a life

I Made My Bed Blah Blah Blah

When I was in Manchester last weekend, I went with 20 Year Old Daughter's Darling Friend (and my Darling Friend too) to Primark.  There God told me to buy some lime green sheets and duvet covers and pillow cases because I May Need Them.  20 Year Old Daughter's Darling Friend had the same thought as God and suggested I buy some bright scarlet ones too.  And so I did.

Now as a Newly Single Woman, it seems that the new bed linen in wonderful colours, is a way of comforting me at nights.  How Can I Be A Single Woman? I cry with feeling at bed times.  Ahh, say my lime green sheets, But We Can Help You.  That Is Why You Bought Us, We Are Here To Make It Better.  And so I get into bed and morning comes and I am sure the lime green sheets helped.  When I was a teeny thing, I used to suck the middle two fingers of my left hand because I thought it made the morning come quicker. Now I know the fingers thing doesn't really make a difference, but I am happy to think the Lime Green Sheets do.

As a Newly Single Woman, I am able to let my legs grow hairy again.  (Shame.  And you all thought I was naturally smooth).  I can sit around and get fat, because no one will say Mmm You Look Nice Today My Dear.  I can over-do the tea and wee all day and all night because no one will be there to say to me, Are You Sure You Should Drink All That Tea?  It Is Taking You Away From Me Every 15 Minutes To Visit The Loo.   I can, of course, find another man but I don't want to.  I miss Alan.

Enough!  Onwards and Upwards.  Here is what I am doing in the next few days -

  • Tomorrow, I go to London with 13 Year Old Son.  We have lunch with my Father (not the one in Heaven who gave me the Bed Linen Advice, my wildly eccentric lovely funny clever Earthly One.)  In honour of this, 13 Year Old Son has promised to Have A Bath.  He needs a reason to do this, there is no connection in his mind at all to just being clean.  If he doesn't, I have said, Grandpa will smell you. Grandpas do not like to smell their Grandsons, it makes them Uneasy.

  • Oh then, we go to the Glorious Clarissa's for the night.  I love going to the Glorious Clarissa's and will soak up Glorious Clarissa-ness and all will be well. 

  • Off to Oxford for the weekend with Glorious Clarissa, 13 Year Old Son having been put on a train to his Grandmother's.  13 Year Old Son has a bit of a history with Train Journeys.  He tends to believe that the train in front of him goes to where he should be going and gets on it.  Later, from Inverness, I get a text saying the train information thing lied to him and he is working his way back to Pulborough and could I find out the next train please?

  • In Oxford, the Glorious Clarissa and I are checking out the next venue for the A Graceful Death exhibition which should be showing there next month.  She is bringing some Jolly People with her so we will have even more of a nice time.

  • Saturday night, I am going to a Party In London and going as a Single Person.  Because the Wonderful Cecil cares, she is leaving her husband at home and going Single too so we can be together.  Only thing is, everyone knows Cecil's husband is at home and my Alan, my Ex - Alan, could be anywhere.  Never mind.  Onwards and Upwards.

  • My Polish Grandmother is really very nice indeed.  I have a very nice French Student who probably won't ever complain now, he is Used To Our House, and a Polish Grandmother who still can't speak a word of English. She may of course, be complaining all the time, but I can't speak Polish so I just think she is being nice and chatty.

  • In my mind there is a painting of the Unsurpassable Rev Rachel Mann.  She seems interested and she will be, if this comes off, the Rock Chick Angel Of The North.  She gave us the Mann40 Fest in Manchester last weekend, to celebrate her 40th birthday and all I could think was Isn't She A Living Painting.  She is made for me to paint her.  All spikey hair, tattoes, electric guitar (she plays in a rock band) jeans and teeshirt.  The Rev Rachel Mann is really something.
Ah, is that the time?  I have much to do to paint the new A Graceful Death images.  I have to convince 13 Year Old Son that Morning Really Has Come and it is time for his bath.  Costya the Teenage Overlord can look after himself.  He is planning his future and it seems to include much Telling People What To Do.  Bless him.  He was out late last night and had to hairdry his jeans dry before he went because they were still wet. Because he had not taken them out of the washing machine.  Because he thought I might.  But I didn't know.  So he hairdried his jeans.  ("Put them in the oven my Son," I said with Insight.  "No."  He replied. "Last time you did that you melted them."  Not really fair, that wasn't his jeans it was his school uniform and he didn't like school anyway, and, it was a long long time ago, before I got the hang of drying the washing in the oven.)

So.  Lime Green Sheets have done their job.  The nights are not so bad (a bit lime green when the moonlight hits the bed in the dark) and the day is, so far, quite sunny.  And I can quite legitimately, get fat and hairy now.  Sigh.

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